If this guy is saying he doesn't let people spar because TKD is "too deadly", then he is full of $hit. Honestly, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. He spouts that load of crap out and then in the same breath says that they can do it if they pay extra per month? And she still hasn't sparred after all this time?? I started full contact sparring with fistpads and mouthguards only after a month at karate! This place sounds like a full on McDojo, your friend needs to get out of there and go wherever you are training as fast as she can, seriously. It is obvious that he is doing this just to get extra money.
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